Is There Such Thing As Too Much Self-Help?

By Maryanne Comaroto

What a flipping fantastic question! When I was 33 years old I asked myself that very same question!! My library at the time brimmed with enough self-esteem-building, spirit-lifting, relationship-advising, co-dependent, neurotic, feminist, esoteric, astrological, paleontological, philosophical paradigms and relief to diagnose and heal several galaxies. From the esoteric: psychics, tarot readers, trance channels, holographic re-patterning specialists, aura color healers, palm readers, Reiki masters, past-life regression experts of the Far East Dharma, Karma, Buddha masters. I included the New Age, the poets and even the dead: Kierkegaard, Swedenborg, Kant, Borges. And I didn’t stop there: I devoured books on sex, business, the inner workings of the mind and ecstatic dance. If it was nonfiction and said “help” ANYWHERE in or on the book, I READ IT! I was on a path (with frequent intermissions) to find out EXACTLY how to be free and NOT suffer unless absolutely necessary. And even then was convinced I could find a way to diminish the likelihood of that. Yet, despite my drive in my particular quest to find immunity from pain, this form of my quest came to an abrupt halt at 33. I had crossed a line.

And funnily enough, just prior to that I had asked myself-or rather, I heard that still small voice that I hear and know as the Great Divine (sort of as if The Great Oz was God) inside of me say…and I swear it cleared its throat (okay, maybe not, but I like to think my inner guidance system has a tremendous sense of humor) “Maryanne…dear. Can it be, after so many years of relentless pursuit of the internal fortress you seek, that the answer does not lie somewhere in even one of these books?”

I was actually embarrassed, because for the first time I realized how profound the notion was. When you come down to it, awakening and staying awake is not a new concept. Yes, we are complicated beings, but many great people have devoted their lives to taking on the complex material of spiritual laws and have done a really tremendous job of breaking it down for us. Yet there I was, face-to-face with a question that led me across the abyss of awareness to transformation. It was time, at last, to take all “I knew” and actually create a practice. You see, I had become addicted to the buzz. A self-help junkie. And why not? I am pretty sure that of all my addictions this one actually paid off! But like all things the time had come for me to fish or cut bait. Change or die-well, I wanted to die, anyway.

Despite all this amazing information, I stood and looked at my life and could not figure out why, despite knowing “it all,” I was still suffering. Still in an unhealthy, unfulfilling relationship; still exercising poor choices, maintaining inappropriate boundaries, religiously entertaining recurrent negative self-talk, etc. And I knew it. This, my friends, was painful. They say ignorance is bliss. I said, after a 17-year quest to, in essence, wake up, I instead was faced with (in great detail) precisely what was wrong with me, simultaneously knowing better. Reminds me of a great line from a poem: “The fish in the water that is thirsty needs serious professional counseling.” Kabir

And then I woke up! Yup. Just like that. For me it took what it took, and, like all of us on a path, it takes what it takes. So could it be that had I read one book fewer I would have had my awakening, being delivered from suffering? Would I not have found that which I had sought my entire life? I can never know, it seems. What I do know is that I am often asked this question, I say to anyone that walks through my door or asks my advice on the matter: “What do you want? And what are you willing to do about it?” The answer for me was simple. I wanted true freedom of being and freedom from suffering. I said a prayer. “God, please show me the way!” And I woke up. But not before I had spent almost twenty years trying everything else! And what I was willing to do about it? The answer was equally as simple; whatever it took! Staying awake for me, is what I had sought my whole adult life, And to stay awake included, among other things, developing a daily practice that fostered this gift I had received.

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Self-Development Tips - 3 Ways to Overcome Procrastination

By Ruth Sias

Procrastination is brutal no matter what industry you are in or role in life you take. It’s a waste of time and almost as bad as being lazy in terms of productivity. There are not too many people that I know of that haven’t had procrastination plague them at one time or another. Usually there is a root cause that triggers us to procrastinate maybe it’s something we are afraid to do or just plain do not like doing and so on.

Whatever the cause that has got you procrastinating here are 3 tips to help you overcome procrastination:

1. Check out your environment. Is your environment, home, office, work, car setting you up to procrastinate? Is your atmosphere cluttered? Are you able to know exactly where to find the things you need on a daily basis? Are there other distractions, like the TV on, music, etc.?

Look around the areas in your life, if they need to be cleaned up and organized, do so! If you have to turn off the phone, the cell and the TV to get some quiet time to work on your task than do so.

Take the precautions necessary to have a more productive life. Simply put, clean up your act and leave no possible distraction left.

2. Forget the last minute. If you are the type of person that waits till the last minute to get something done, STOP! Not only is it stressful, it is simply not conducive to having a productive and fruitful life. It is highly unlikely that you are doing your body any good or the project or task of that moment any good by putting it off till the last moment.

Plan ahead and breakdown the task into smaller pieces that can be done from assignment to date it should be completed. Give yourself some extra time at the end so if a challenge arises you can take care of it and still meet your timeline without stress.

In the end by planning and not waiting till the last moment we not only have more time to do the things we enjoy in life we also get to live with less stress.

3. Stop that stinking thinking. If you do not enjoy what you do for a living or maybe a particular task often we create a bunch of negative self talk. For instance we think in our heads or maybe even tell others how annoying it is, how much we hate it, how difficult it is, how boring it is and so on. This type of negative talk and emotions make us want to do the task even less and causes us to drag our feet on starting and working the task. This makes the task take longer to do and sucks up our time.

Instead of thinking about what you do not like, switch it up and think about what you do like about the task or better yet how getting the task done quickly and efficiently we enable you to do something you enjoy.

If we believe and think that the task will be easy that we will conquer any challenges with ease and that we can get it done fast and on-time or better yet before it is due and keep the negative talk out we will find ourselves procrastinating less and getting more done in the same amount of time with less stress.

The key to self-talk is to make it believable to you, if you do not believe what you are saying then it becomes ineffective.

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Who is That Person in the Mirror?

By Debra Kessler

How we act when no one is looking is a good indicator of what we are made of. Do we have integrity? Are we morally sound? Is honesty in the forefront of our thoughts when we are faced in any situation? Every day we are tempted to face our self image and decide will we compromise our beliefs and values.

It is said that it can take as little as two weeks to make or break a habit. It is amazing how fast one can destroy a lifetime of integrity. When one lives by a belief system, our actions are guided by it on a daily basis. Our integrity or character will keep us from going out and hitting someone with our car because we value human life. And in the same vein we wouldn’t wake up and quit our jobs because we didn’t feel life going to work.

I realize that these examples are extreme and one could ask who would do a thing like that. You’d be surprised. We do not just wake up one morning and decide to not be honest or have good character. The slipping of our character starts in a series of small steps. It is so vital to keep ourselves in check to keep that from happening.

Have you ever noticed that the bad guy looks like an ordinary person? In the movies, the guy gets caught and tells the police that he never set out to embezzle a million dollars from his company. He thinks he is not a bad person. His character slipped and he failed to keep is integrity in check.

Yes, staying true to our integrity filled belief system is a twenty-four hour job. We come under fire when we least expect it. Something will happen and it could be that pivotal point that pushes us over the edge of staying true. It is like seeing that man who drops his wallet. Do you pick it up and give it back or keep it, thinking that he should have been more careful?

Situations like these are the defining moments. We have the right to chose to do right or wrong. Each little decision changes us. We must always keep our thoughts in line with our integrity. If we chose to comprise, a little more of our integrity is chipped away. It becomes easier to give in each time.

We must continue to look at ourselves in the mirror. Do we want to be labeled a hypocrite? Are our principles becoming less concrete and fluid? If we have compromised it will be hard to regain our integrity especially around those for whom we compromised. But with the help of understanding and trustworthy people, our self-image can be restored and we can begin to rebuild our life.

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Public Relations How to Do it Well

Author Clyde Lee Dennis

Public Relations, often referred to as PR is the management of internal and external communication of an organization to create and maintain a positive public image. It’s a process that involves popularizing successes, downplaying failures, announcing changes, and many other activities.

Public relations are a very important management function in any organization and it should be understood that it is not synonymous with publicity.

Public relations specialists are often times referred to as communications specialists and media specialists, among other titles, and serve as advocates for businesses, nonprofit associations, universities, hospitals, and other organizations, and build and maintain positive relationships with the public. They also handle organizational functions such as media, community, consumer, industry, and governmental relations; political campaigns; interest-group representation; conflict mediation; and employee and investor relations.

These specialists are the ones who draft press releases and contact people in the media who might print or broadcast their company related messages and material. As well as arranging and conducting programs to keep up contact between organization representatives and the public.

Public relations specialists work in busy offices and in smaller firms usually get all-around experience, whereas those in larger firms tend to be much more specialized. Concentrated in large cities, where press services and other communications facilities are readily available and many businesses and trade associations have their headquarters.

To become leaders they must show creativity, initiative, and good judgment and most importantly have the ability to communicate thoughts clearly and simply.

Public relations managers also evaluate advertising and promotions programs for compatibility with public relations efforts and serve as the eyes and ears of top management within a company. They may even confer with labor relations managers to produce internal company communications such as newsletters about employee-management relations, and with financial managers to produce company reports.

Public relations people working for a company may handle consumer relations or the relationship between parts of the company such as the managers and employees, or different branch offices and include ongoing activities to ensure the organization has a strong public image.

Janet Schlarbaum Public Relations

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